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About Deviant Official Beta Tester Espen Damek Kirovich23/Male/United States Groups :icontransitfans: TransitFANS
come along for the ride~
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Deviant for 7 Years
11 Month Premium Membership
Statistics 3,475 Deviations 13,597 Comments 24,407 Pageviews

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Beware this gallery holds such oddity and randomness, you may become infected with my bizarre sense of humor... and my sense of nonsense...

Random Favourites

Check out the amazing(and vast) collection of the beautiful, wierd, cool, crazy and trippy things I find interesting.

beware, there's so much cool stuff that may you may never find your way out... :P

SOOO MUCH STUFF!!!
.....and things....

Critiques

blind... by shotsfiredimagedown

This photo evokes the image of a blind child, alone, afraid, and left to die. What brings to mind this image in my mind is the melting ...

Webcam

KuroManga rendered in other styles!

Kiah Sabra, by Ravenna-LaLune
Kiah Sabra colored by Ravenna-LaLune

TiZaku by GerraFox77
Free commision: Tizaku by GerraFox77

Makiu and TiZaku, by deadrabbit13
Tizaku and Makiu by deadrabbit13

Zaku, by Gore-Font
Art Trade- Zaku by Gore-Font

Kado by Makami Kitsune:

first ever Kado by otakuchaos

Groups

:iconobject-love: :iconcushman-works: :iconamerica-needs-buses: :iconrmm-classics: :iconlisa-frank: :iconodd-souls: :iconford-is-love: :icontransitfans: :iconeverything-marta: :icon5th-d-s:

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deviantID

xxStolen-soulsxx
Espen Damek Kirovich
United States
Creator of KuroManga, Logic Century and other related works.
Founder of Fifth Dimension Studios, Sept. 2006.

I am stalked by FedEx trucks!!---> FedEx by rotemass

Blue Bird= WIN.
www.blue-bird.com/

How a Blue Bird is made--> www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Wx11h…

_America Needs Buses_

Look- it's a bus!
____________________
|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_| \__
|------------------------------|
|----(@)---------------\__(@) |

No matter how you look at it Synchronicity is always Synchronicity:
Synchronicity by AnneliCyambl

|/^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ ||____
|_____ 5th-D-S _____| |||'""|'"\___,
| _dis truck is en route! |/l||__|__|__|)
|(@)(@)""""""""""""'(@)(@) -------- (@)





wanna know more about me?
read my stamps!

Fav too much - Stamp by Tadadada Stamp by wolf-wisper free by Animal-Stamp Fox At Heart Stamp by Culpeo-Fox German Shepherd Love Stamp by cloudrat Black Cat Stamp by nekojyn Love by admiral-squee DA Stamp - Peace 01 by tppgraphics Hug a Tree Stamp v2 by HippieKender I support Randomess by Dragon-of-Midnight Phoeneixes Rule by Dragon-Crusade Canada Stamp by mrslovettrules Everyone IS Equal by bradleysays Weird Things Stamp by KoRn-sTaR60291 Public Transportation by themaskedcrusader freedom by regenbogen-gedopt dA Is My HAPPY PLACE by Loulou13 Yellow Bus by Sanoon I want to ride a catbus by Taneja Magic School Bus Stamp by magicschoolbus-fans environment stamp by environment Bus Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Random Stamp: Six Flags Dance by realdeal2u4u DA addict stamp by luckylooke MARTA logo stamp by xxStolen-soulsxx I love the moon stamp by xxStolen-soulsxx Blue Bird logo stamp by xxStolen-soulsxx cosmos and unity stamp by xxStolen-soulsxx aum stamp by xxStolen-soulsxx psychedelic stamp by Seraphoid Psychedelic Zebra Stamp by pixelworlds freak Stamp by zilla774 firefox by urbanAR7 Ford stamp by MyStamps ..::Ikarus 280 - stamp::.. by Sisori-Lotusa Triple Goddess by Nxriot Environmental by Too-many-of-us Unicursal Hexagram by skinnyveestamp Wanna Stamp by agra19 Surfin Bird by Dshark Imagination by endler Fandom vs. OC by HanaKiriStamp Watch Me For Art-Stamp by lupehero38 vw bus stamp 2 by sandwedge pro Xana stamp by Knuxphntm Reality... by Steamstrike Think Outside The Box Stamp by SinMisericordia21 Transcend the Bullshit stamp by xxStolen-soulsxx Logo: FedEx by TheStampKing ReBoot Stamp Series- Megabyte by kirbykandy
Interests

stuff... and things

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 30, 2014, 11:01 PM
I just finished watching the final season of Legend of Korra...

the end scene... yeah, I see what everyone was talking about Korra and Asami being a gay couple... but because the show is on a network aired for kids, they couldn't actually depict them kissing.
America, sadly, isn't yet ready for that.

anyways... in other news...

I got an Xbox 360 for Christmas, and a copy of Skyrim...
I have spent the better part of the last four days logging hours on Skyrim.
--I've been home sick for the last two days, unwilling to do any more than sit around and watch movies or play games...

anyways...
aside from an Xbox I mostly got art supplies for Christmas.

I used my PayPal money from recent ebay sales to buy the first 3 seasons of Legend of Korra on DVD. I also bought Cast Away.
(my parents would have bought them, had they done any online shopping, but they waited until the last minute this year, so they only went to local stores, none of whom carry any of the DVDs I just mentioned in their regular stock in store-I know, I've looked.)

in other news...

I have even more new stuff, on top of my already daunting pile of backlog, to write and draw for KuroManga... I have had plenty of new Ideas, but can't seem to translate them from my head to media... mostly I just don't FEEL like sitting down and working on anything... In fact... this drawing of Reyzu and Nami(below) took me a month and a half to finally sit down and draw...
The concept for these two characters originally came to me upon waking from a dream, and then a later vision I had while showering. My problem with art lately isn't finding inspiration... it is finding the energy and motivation to USE the inspiration that comes to me daily.

Soulmates by xxStolen-soulsxx


I am still inspired by Zen, and I still find Zen in everything...


Super Nova Zen Sun by xxStolen-soulsxx


so then.... why do I feel so DISCONNECTED from everything??
It's worse now that I am sick... but I could tell that this disconnection was there before I got ill.

So what is the cause of this disconnected feeling?
all of the times I can recount this happening to me before were as a part of my OCD/Bi-Polar patterns...

I would become obsessed with something, (anything, a fandom, an object, an idea, a spiritual path...) and while obsessed become manic... when this wore off and I became disinterested(or something disastrous happened, like the incidents leading up to my termination from Ground) I would become disinterested and disconnected from everything... I know I have written about this in my poetry before... often the disconnect was casued by sadness, or depression, or in many cases, I would "give up on" whatever I was obsessed with for whatever reason, be it(in the case of some physical objects) an inability to obtain what I wanted, or in the case of an idea or philosophy I went as far as I could with it, and it no longer could feed my need for new information on the subject.

Those of you who know me, and I mean ACTUALLY and truly KNOW me... would know that EVERYTHING I have ever been interested in has at one point in my life or another been one of my obsessions.

a fine example of this would be buses, and yes, the Tugs.
why else would I have taken an interest in these things?

well, apparently, liking buses isn't all that uncommon, but I think I corner the market on weird, even among other transit fans...
for me it goes beyond, "hey that's cool"

for me it is literally "every waking and dreaming moment" devoted to whatever has possessed my passion.
when i am in this state of mind, I literally have every other thought about whatever I am "in love" with (OCD and love share the same chemical profile in the human brain) I wrote a poem about that, too.

but when my dopamine receptors become burnt out from all that euphoria, I become disconnected from everything... eventually I become interested in something new and that in turn causes my brain to begin created the high levels of dopamine again...

(I notice I always end up answering my own stupid questions...)

The question then becomes, How do I circumnavigate this cycle of obsession-related euphoria, and the later ensuing depression? How do I re-wire my brain to NOT do this? Without taking harsh chemicals, such as mood stabilizers? (Chemicals are the reason my brain is so fucked up to begin with... not illegal drug or alcohol, but multiple exposures to anesthetics and other pharma-chemicals during infancy and early development)

I once had a realization that in order to do away with the particular struggles of my life, I would have to completely erase and rewrite who I am as a person... But I like who I am... my quest isn't to eliminate the strife in my life, it is to bring more harmony and balance in my life...

I was meditating at work, while still at FedEx Ground, and one of my co-workers saw me sitting in the lotus position on the back of one of the Tugs. He asked me "What are you doing?" I smirked and replied jokingly, "Looking for some Zen."

Little did I know then, that I was about to find ZEN in a place no one, not even myself, would expect to find it.

I found it in a Cushman Tug, quite literally.
Take a look... (the photo is of the motor in my Tug I bought from ebay)

ZEN by xxStolen-soulsxx



Ironically I didn't discover this until after I had finalized the purchase.

After this, I began to see Zen in all things...(not as literally, though)

but even with such a wonderful experience, my brain chemistry remains the same, it is just as unbalanced as ever... the only thing that is different today than one year ago today, is the fact that I am more aware of the patterns. This knowledge may help me to cope, but certainly does not magically make the underlying chemical imbalances change.

so, I still feel disconnected from reality, and numbed to everything around me. Even the things I cherish the most.

  • Mood: I Have To Pee
  • Watching: YOU
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: dirt
  • Drinking: Coca-Cola

Are you a...? 

70%
7 deviants said Dreamer!
30%
3 deviants said Doer!

Donate

xxStolen-soulsxx has started a donation pool!
108 / 1,000
I would like to purchase some of my fellow deviant's wonderful prints...


COMMISSIONS PLZ!!
Point commissions are open by MariaKoch

what do you get for...?

1 point- a sketch of your choice

5 points- chibi w/ or without colour.

10- b/w complete drawing/ ink

15- complete drawing with shading/depth

20- complete drawing with colour- or full background.

30- full colour/full background

35- psychedelic painting/ drawing w/ colour

50- "mixed media" painting/collage.

I can draw pretty much anything with, or without a reference.

You must be logged in to donate.
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Comments


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:iconprometheus53:
prometheus53 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks again!
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:icondottyjammies:
dottyjammies Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the fave-much appreciated :) (Smile) 
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:iconstepher17:
Stepher17 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the fave!! :D :dance: :D
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tealmermaid Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fav! :)
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:iconwiebkerost:
wiebkerost Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015   General Artist
Thanks for the fav on my wood work! :) (Smile)
Box Cover by wiebkerost
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:iconmerhlin:
Merhlin Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015
Thanks for the "Wind farm" fave. :)
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:iconprometheus53:
prometheus53 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for favoriting!
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RussianSakabato9 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome to
:iconall-machinery:

Thank you for joining! Feel free to submit! :D
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:iconpianolady32:
pianolady32 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much for the favorite!
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:iconwaynebenedet:
WayneBenedet Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014
Thank you for the :+fav:

Merry Christmas Espen
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:iconxxstolen-soulsxx:
xxStolen-soulsxx Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2014
You are welcome. 
Merry Christmas.
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FluffyBlueCow Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: on Hack and Slash :happybounce:
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WayneBenedet Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014
Thank for the :+fav:
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giuanne Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks 4 the fav 
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Johnnyratboy Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the fave! :)
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:iconsonnenkatze346:
Sonnenkatze346 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for faving my 3 Mabon altar photos!! :D (Big Grin)  :) (Smile)  :happybounce:  Hug 
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ReincarnationsDotCom Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
thank you very much for the :+fav:s! :)
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callievamp Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav *Free Icon/Emote* Halloween Pusheen 
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TheInnerCat Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014
Thank you for the favourite :) may you have a fantastic day
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Le-Coeur-Gothique Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks a lot for the fave mate! Greece salutes you.
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